dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
