I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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