Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
