lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
