tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize