I accidentally burped into my bong.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
