At least make sure they are 18
Why
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
