i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
