just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
