I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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