the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love black thongs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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