I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize