I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
