aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I currently don't understand fingers.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
