Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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