how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
