And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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