haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
