Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
