The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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