I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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