Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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