So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize