Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
