There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
