That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
