I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
