Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
