Pappa wants mamma naked
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
