: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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