2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
