But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
