It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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