TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
