i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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