ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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