i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize