Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think your dad took our porno
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
