You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
