ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
