she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
