so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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