she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
