Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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