She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
