i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
