he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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