we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
