I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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