Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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